


It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

by purafollia



Series: Kiibouma Sex? [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: AN A S S H O L E, Anal Sex, Christmas, Christmas Smut, M/M, Robot Sex, Smut, Yaoi, crackfic, he has. a fuckign ASSHOLE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 02:35:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17153690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purafollia/pseuds/purafollia
Summary: Keebo was given a new function by Miu and Kokichi tests it out with him.





	It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Kokichi’s head bobbed up and down as he paced his house, waiting for his Christmas party to start. He invited all 15 of his high school friends— though he doubted all of them would come. But, his house was looking great so far (in his opinion).

He had lights outside, decorations inside, and a huge tree with ornaments and multicolor twinkling lights donning the branches. He had an allergy, though, so it wasn’t a real tree, oh well.

He also had standees of reindeer on his front lawn. He wanted it to look as extravagant as possible. He was wearing a Christmas sweater with the words “Jesus’s Little Bitch”. Offensive, as always. His hair had red, green, and white barettes in it.

It was nearly time, and everything was ready. He expected people to show up in about half an hour, but...

*ding dong dong ding!*

Kokichi scuttered to the door. “Who is it?”

“It’s me, assface!” a blunt female voice said from the other side of the door. “Let me in!”

“Wait, the party isn’t for half an hour...” Kokichi said, opening the door slightly. “Why are you here?”

“I need to talk with you, cumslut.” Miu, the woman, then let herself in and plopped onto the couch. She was wearing a rather slutty — for lack of a better word — Santa outfit. “Ya see, I’ve installed a new function in Keebo.”

“And?” The man asked.

“It’s fake genitals,” Miu said, trying not to laugh. “I got wasted one night and thought it’d be a good idea, alright?!? For now, he only has a fake asshole, but it doubles as a charging port, so it *is* useful.”

Kokichi snorted. “Wait, seriously?”

“Would I lie to you, jackass?” Miu said.

“I mean, no, but.... how do you even make something like that?” Kokichi questioned.

“*Well,* because I am a girl genius, I expect it to be too complicated for a simple one like *you* to understand. But if you must know, it basically works like a Fleshlight, yanno? It also secretes a lubricant on the inside, and any fluids that enter it will be transferred into gas out through his ears when he’s charging.”

“It definitely sounds like you were drunk when you designed this.” Kokichi laughed.

“I forgot to mention — I also hooked up his nerves to certain spots in the tube so that he actually can feel pleasure.” Miu smiled pridefully.

“How in God’s earth did you get him to agree with this?”

Silence.

“I may or may not have done it while he was in sleep mode...” Miu said, face red and finger twirling around her bleached blonde hair. “But I was just *so* excited! I couldn’t wait for him to actually give me *consent*. I just wanted to shove right in!”

“Miu, you sound like you’re defending yourself at a trial. And badly,” Kokichi stated. “You haven’t changed at all, have you?”

“Nope! The same old girl, as always~” She said, smiling wide. “Now, where do I hide?”

“Hide?”

“Keebo *might* be just a tad angry at me. He, uh.... found out about his new function this morning.”

“Of course. A cumbucket like you wouldn’t be able to hide something like that from him.”

“C-cumbucket?!?” Miu said face reddened and hair twitching.

“Go hide in the closet.”

————

The party had started an hour or two beforehand, and a whole lot of people came. There was Shuichi, Kaito, Maki, Rantarou, Kaede, Kirumi, and, Keebo, of course. Miu had been hiding the whole time.  
Kirumi was treating his other guests, handing out wine, champagne, and Christmas party snacks. Kaede was playing the piano for karaoke — which Kaito was forcing Maki to do with him — and Rantarou was painting everyone’s nails. Shuichi was sitting on the couch, admiring Kaede’s playing.

Where was Keebo? Kokichi silently thought to himself. He welcomed him inside, so it’s not like he left somehow.  
Except for the one place still open Kokichi *hadn’t* checked — his bedroom.

Kokichi skipped up the stairs, and, sure enough, found a flustered Keebo sitting on Kokichi’s bed, wheezing and gasping as he was likely looking at things on his hard-drive, given the “Play” symbol in his eyes and the fact his inner speakers were lit.

“Keeboy!” Kokichi said. Suddenly, Keebo’s eyes lit up with a “Pause” symbol, and the lights on his inner speakers faded.

“Uh- ah- yes, Kokichi? Also... I asked you to stop calling me that.”

“What were you watching?~” Kokichi said curiously.

Keebo’s face went pink. “Uh- it’s nothing! Plus, how did you know I was watching something?”

Kokichi smiled. “Your eyes. And headphone thingies,” he answered.

“Oh. Right... well, as i said, it was... nothing.” His face was getting more red.

“Doesn’t seem like it, Keeboy!”

“I said to stop calling me that!”

“I will if you tell me what you were doing~”

Keebo sighed.  
“Miu installed a new function on me that I... didn’t know how to *use*... so I thought the new info folder in my drive might have something... but... here.”

Suddenly, Kokichi’s TV turned on, and was playing an extremely bad quality video of — was that Miu? — testing out Keebo’s new function. Obviously, it seemed like she had recorded this prior to installing it inside him.

*”Listen up! So first, you don’t need any lube or anything. It does that automatically because I’m considerate for you little shits. Also, you would need to be extremely rough to actually break this thing, because it’s made to adjust to any size. Therefore even small dicks can have their fun! I’m looking at you, Shuichi!”* The video Miu laughed.

*”Anyways, you can stick your fingers in li— Ow!”* A clattering noise. *”Fuck, my camera!”* Video Miu exclaimed, sounding a bit far away. The video blacked out.

“See what I mean?” Keebo said. “But I still don’t understand.”

Kokichi burst out laughing. “Seriously? God, you’re so sheltered. Have you never seen porn or anything?”

Keebo sounded serious again. “Should I look that up?”

Kokichi sweated. “Ah, no, maybe- maybe not,” Kokichi said. He thought to himself.

“I can show you...!” Kokichi answered, chuckling.

————

“What does this do, though?” Keebo said with a sort of innocence.

“It’s supposed to make you feel good, I guess. And whoever else is with you.” Kokichi said, answering his questions.

Keebo seemed to connect two and two together in his head. “Wait! Wait... *that’s* what happens?!?” he said, wheezing.

Kokichi nodded. “Well, duh. What else’d go in there.”

Keebo sighed. “But... if it helps me assist humans, I’ll do it.”

Kokichi wasn’t sure that it’d really *assist* humans. Maybe with their horniness. But it’s not like he was about to tell Keebo that — then he’d never do it.

“Do you want to do it now?” Keebo said. Kokichi thought to himself.

“Let me lock the door.”

————

Kokichi threw off his sweater and his pants, looking at Keebo, his face turning red.

“Do you wanna take off my underwear?~” Kokichi said in response, sitting down next to Keebo. Keebo looked indifferent, but seemed to oblige, although seeming rather shy. Kokichi’s red/yellow-striped underwear fell to the ground, revealing his partially-erect penis. Keebo looked at Kokichi. “What now?”

“*Well,*” Kokichi answered, “you could either stroke it until I become fully erect *or* we could just start right away.”

Keebo thought for a second, before wrapping his cold palm around Kokichi’s dick.

“Aaah! Fuck! Cold!” Kokichi exclaimed, Keebo pulling away.

“Did I do something wrong?!?” Keebo said.

“No, just... your hands are cold. You never want to have cold hands.”

Keebo nodded, then suddenly he put his palms forward into the air, making a *brrrrrr* noise. “I heated them up to room temperature.”

Kokichi nodded, Keebo repeating what he did before, but this time without the cold sensation. His hands were warm, but not too warm — and they were a bit rigid on the palms, too, which somehow made it feel even better. He needed to hold out though because he still needed to *show* Keebo how to actually use his new function.

Kokichi’s penis was now completely erect, so Keebo removed his palm and Kokichi was in a bit of a flustered state, to say the least.

“Ah... what now?” Keebo asked, putting his fingers together.

“Oh... ah... well, how do you access this new area?” Kokichi questioned.

Keebo pressed a switch on his collar, opening up a square spot on his posterior. It was creepily fleshy like Miu had taken the asshole of a human and attached it onto Keebo.

“Do I just...” Keebo thought confusingly. Kokichi simply crossed his legs on the bed and raised Keebo above him.

“Sit here,” Kokichi said, and Keebo sat down in front of Kokichi. Kokichi grabbed a hold of his cock. “Now just tell me when you think you’re ready~”

Keebo nodded, and, after a minute or two of what looked like flustered thoughts, he opened his mouth. “I’m ready.”

“Now, lift yourself up, and move yourself a bit closer, raising your hind end above where my hand is,” Kokichi explained. Keebo was right above his dick, his new entrance ready for use.

“Now, just lower yourself when you’re fully prepared.”

Suddenly, Keebo started bringing himself downward, Kokichi’s penis slowly being inserted into his asshole.

“Nngh!” Keebo exclaimed, arms holding onto Kokichi’s shoulders. He was trying not to make similar sounds himself, but, wanted to keep composure in front of Keebo.

A few moments later, Keebo had gotten the length of Kokichi’s cock inside him.

“Now, rock yourself up and down.”

Steadily, Keebo started to bob his body up and down, wrapping his legs around Kokichi’s back.

“Ngh... Keep going... and I’ll start...” Kokichi was being overwhelmed with pleasure, so it was hard for him to make out coherent words. Keebo’s entrance was just so *tight* like it was perfectly made for him. Although, according to Miu’s explanation, it was perfectly adjusted for him, so that would make sense.

After Keebo sped up a little, Kokichi started thrusting a bit.

“Agghn.,” Keebo said. “That feels nice...”

“It’s supposed to...” Kokichi responded.

Suddenly, both of them accelerated, their noises growing in intensity and occurrence. Keebo had moved his head onto Kokichi’s shoulders, and he had stopped rocking up and down so Kokichi was doing most of the work. It was no hassle at all, though, as it’s not like he wasn’t being rewarded. Kokichi sped up again, which was making Keebo moan even louder, his face turning ice blue and sweat dripping down his forehead. Kokichi was nearly at his limit as well.

A few minutes later, Kokichi was unable to bear it any longer, his semen bursting into Keebo’s asshole, and dripping out as they separated.

“God, that was amazing,” Kokichi said breathily.

Keebo panted as he laid down next to him. “I agree... Thanks for teaching me that. I think it’ll make people feel happier in the end,” he said, still somehow innocently.

Kokichi just laughed.

 

It wouldn’t be until the weekend after the party when some interesting photos got sent to them that Kokichi remembered Miu was in his closet the whole time.

**Author's Note:**

> HI YES merry christmas/happy holidays!!! i know ive been late af to post alsaksaksa but like!! ya
> 
> so now im in another fandom great  
> thats how long its been since i last posted ik what a dissapointment
> 
> but yeah i hope you enjoy this!!! gh i worked kinda hard tbh eue
> 
> enjoy!!!
> 
> \- oliver
> 
> p.s. this is literally fresh out my brain no proofread bc it's 3am and i wanted to get this out as soon as possible so i can get sum sleep bc i need 2 rest... krimmis tommorow ehehe
> 
> thanks for reading~


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